The Terminated One

Circle

2010-10-06T09:01:00.001-07:00

Everything that I am, everything that I see is a part of the circle coming back to me.

Why do we let retards influence public oppinion?

2010-01-12T02:43:00.001-08:00

Was reading this article about Avatar and racism.

Seems everything started when some anal editor named Annalee (quite fitting) thought she should take a bite out of Avatar's popularity.

To quote from the yahoo post: "Annalee Newitz, editor-in-chief of the sci-fi Web site io9.com , likened "Avatar" to the recent film "District 9," in which a white man accidentally becomes an alien and then helps save them, and 1984's "Dune," in which a white man becomes an alien Messiah." Do you know anyone that after reading the awesome book that Dune is stopped for one second to wonder: "Hey... Why is Paul Muad'dib white?"

Ok... so basically we are lead to believe that every book or movie that features a white guy saving a bunch of people is racist. On the other hand we are encouraged to have black heroes, which is ok. I'd say somebody hates white people.

My guess is that racism exists mostly because retard people wants it to exist. Especially when you reach a level when you have to choose your words wisely. There's one thing to make someone a slave based on his skin color (which was of course wrong) and a whole different thing to have a fictional hero in some fictional movie being white.

Power and control

2009-12-15T07:58:00.000-08:00

Power is not the same thing as control. However, control is power and power is control. The more you think about it, the more you see this is true. They are not equivalent, one implies the other. And it goes bouncing forth and back like a chain reaction that is escaped from control.

In the same way, once you realize this you can start this reaction for real by imposing control upon yourself. However you don't want this to escape from control. That's what the real self-control is, adjusting this chain reaction between power and control like a third party viewer.

Dune

2009-12-13T17:13:00.000-08:00

But a person needs new experiences. They jar something, deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change, something sleeps inside us and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.

Happines is only real when it's shared

2009-11-01T04:03:00.000-08:00

I just saw "Into the wild". Really cool movie and I can identify with the main character when it comes to the free spirit part. There are so many things that we think we need when in fact we don't, there are so many things that restrain us from remembering that we do have a body and a mind and it feels amazing to use them. Must see.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the fail

2009-10-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

There was this guy that woke up one morning considering the abstract idea of purified 100% double-refined shit. So after he brushed his teeth and drunk his coffee (which is not good for the teeth) he still had this idea and he decided:

Let's make a movie about this. Let's see if people are so stupid that they are willing to pay for 2 hours of partial glimpses of Megan Fox titties. I would carry on stating that the story fails, there is no logic behind most of the actions, there is no motivation, no character development, no nothing... but then I would be a lame guy talking about a really lame movie.

Wanted

2008-12-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Yet another wtf movie. It was not bad, kind of funny actually, but the thing that troubled me while watching is...did they intend to make it ridiculous? The film is just a series of exaggerations... topping off with the characters being able to shoot bullets with their bullets. If you start thinking about how could you even get to shoot a bullet with a bullet (presuming you could do that) you would see that the plot fails since it would indicate that Cross actually tried to kill his son. So basically the film started for me like a: "Get the fuck outta here!!" then evolved into a: "Dudeeeee, get the fuck out of here!!" then moved to the: "Now seriously...get the FUCK out of here!!" and the ending was something like: "Damn....fuck...dude...what the fuck...fucking fuck..."

Kung Fu Panda

2008-12-09T02:32:00.000-08:00

is a really funny movie and I enjoyed it. However the most interesting part was how the characters where modeled based on the actor that borrowed their voices. Tigress was strong yet feminine and had Angelina Jolie's charisma, Viper was clearly Lucy Liu (the eyes, the way it moves and fights), Jackie Chan's extraordinary dexterity and mobility was best described as Monkey even Jack Black's extraordinary lack of everything was portrayed as Po.
So the question that naturally comes into my mind is... what would my cartoon alter-ego look like?

The super hero problem

2008-12-06T16:44:00.000-08:00

Just watched Hancock and when the credits started I said: "Damn this was a stupid movie." Really lame story. The movie has nothing special just throwing in the same old super hero cliches.
And I just figured out what is the problem when making a super hero movie. You need to have the hero balanced with something. If he just walks around and kicks everyone's ass the movie is bound to be stupid. So why did they insert the lame stuff about loosing all their powers if Hancock is close to the girl? Because they had to end the story somehow. To make it look like a story. It is the only thing you can do to make the hero movie interesting. So... you take some time to establish the character and where he comes from, then you show him stopping some bank robbers then what the hell can you do to make the movie thrilling? The hero looses somehow. All hope is lost. And then he fights back. He fights back and wins! All cheer and we have the happy end. This story sells. It even works for heroes with no special powers. Probably 90% of the action movie sell this story again and again. And we keep watching.
On the other hand we have the newest Batman movie, The Dark Knight. No longer the super hero movie stereotype described above, the story and the characters are at a whole new level. This was the thing that made me love that movie yet I couldn't really point out why.
Still I would like to see the ultimate rule broken. The unspoken rule, the inconceivable thing. I want to see Batman die. Not lost in the sea, not under a burning mansion, not in any kind of situation that would permit him to rise up again just when all hope is lost. I want to see him shot in the head and dead. Let's see how the story evolves after that.

It's yours!

2008-11-11T15:21:00.000-08:00

It's your mp3 collection.
Your clothes.
Your home.
Your bed.
Your pillow.
Your cat.
Your girlfriend.
Your desk.
Your computer.
Your photos.
Your hard-disk full of memories.
Your job.
Your car.
Your money.
Your newspaper.
Your desk at work.
Your credit card at your bank.
Your dentist.
Your friends.
Your birthday.
Your notebook from high-school.
Your mobile phone.
Your number.
Your life.

Is it really yours?

Fear is the mind killer...

2008-11-11T15:00:00.001-08:00

But what do we need the mind for? We need fear on the other hand. Without fear there would be a lack of purpose. I was trying to conceive the total freedom. There are no constrains. What's the point of it? What can you achieve when there is nothing stopping you?
Fears: death, failure, life. Death will be always there. Can you change it? Failure is something not natural. At the dawn of time there was no failure but we invented it on the way. Life? Greatest fear of them all. And greatest lie of them all. This is what keeps society going. You need to fear life and you need to value it. A good life. What makes a good life? Have a good day! Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. Everything's fine? How are you? GOOD! How are YOU? Have you been a good boy? That's a good boy! Buy some goods! It's not good enough!
Live in fear of the good life or die! There is no middle way anymore. There is no profit out of it. The state that was meant to protect us makes us live as slaves to the great fear of life. What state? There is no state anymore. There are only them, the ones we fear but they have no face.
But these are fake fears diverting from the real fear. Death is near! Fear give me strength. Fear tunnel me into perfection. Fear me God of Slaves!

The Universe as dots

2008-11-04T13:32:00.001-08:00

I am working on a way to represent gravity/time/space in my mind. To feel them. Why? I just like this kind of stuff. My new model I came up with is based on dots. Everything in the universe, including empty space contains these imaginary dots. These dots have the following property. Whenever you observe a traveling beam of light, at any time, the head of the beam is on a dot. Axiom: You can't "stop" the beam in any place other then on top of one of these dots. This would mean that in a normal distribution of dots you will actually have a core clock tick for the time = time light takes to travel between 2 of these dots. This would be the smallest amount of time you could observe.

Now comes the fun part. The effect of gravity on these dots would be to make them denser. Therefore light would actually move faster but in keeping the light speed constant we could say that the core clock tick for the time is changing.

And now we can draw.
This is a constant time/space in one dimension, # represents the empty space between the dots.

.###.###.###.###.

let's have a minor input of gravity:

.###.##.##.###.

let's have a major input of gravity:

.###.##.#.##.###.

you could say that gravity tries to bring dots together skewing the 1d universe.

let's have a black hole:

*

well ASCII drawing sucks but you can imagine the dots being denser and denser until you have an infinity of dots one on top of the other. Considering that the line travels on these dots only it will have to travel through an infinity of dots to reach the next dot near the black hole therefore it will never escape. Also core clock tick would then be 0. Time has stopped inside a black hole.

And now try and imagine these dots in 3d. Try to imagine the effect of gravity in 3d. And the hardest part - see the light moving on these dots and taking a curb as it would appear to an observer while if you are standing on the head of the light beam you will see that you are only moving straight. Conceive the fact that a beam of light is actually moving inside a black hole.

Mirrors

2008-10-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

This is a public announcement!

I guess everyone has lost 2-3 minutes of his life at some point thinking about what will happen if he looks into a mirror which is placed opposite to another mirror so he sees the mirror in the mirror in the mirror and so on. What will happen if I reflect a laser into a mirror in some angle will it travel inside the mirrors forever? How many kilometers of space are there between these mirrors reflected in mirrors if I could enter them how much would I walk? What would I see if I were in the space between the mirror I see and the first mirror inside of it? Even though I see it as a plane from here, inside the mirror there is a 3d space in which objects - such as my reflection - can move. Actually imagining that you are in the space between the first mirror and the first mirror inside it and trying to figure out how you would see the real world would be a nice try in perceiving superior dimensions.

If you never thought about this - damn you are a boring person.

Anyways here is a little mirror game: link to a site that has a link to my blog on it! Go there and click on my blog! Then come here and click the link again. And so on.

Come to think of it... sites are like mirrors. What could you find in the space between them? For a very interesting view on information read the second book in the "Ender's game" universe where you will meet a being born "between the mirrors".

The Dark Knight

2008-08-11T15:34:00.000-07:00

I know everyone is saying this but the movie was incredible good. At least for a Batman movie. Actually that's the whole point...it wasn't a Batman movie it was a pure thriller. It was not about Batman showing off his gadgets and kicking ass, it felt to me as if Batman has a secondary and little role. I mean sure, he is great with his voice, costume and martial arts but this movie was not about this. The Joker and all his mad but still coherent speech is what makes this movie great. It kinda felt like Se7en. The pure evil character that doesn't care about his life but cares only to make a point or destroy.
Heath Ledger was brilliant. I know everyone says this to speak good about the dead but it's not that. He was amazing. I am pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to top this performance for the rest of his days. Probably this got him depressed...I was reading that he got so much in character that after this movie he had problems sleeping. I know I have problems sleeping after I saw the movie... think of the possibilities, the fun of being pure evil it actually makes me wonder if something like this would actually work in real life. I mean although he didn't had any special powers or fancy suit he seemed to be unstoppable in a real credible way.

Still there are some problems with the script - SPOILERS AHEAD -

- the scene were he burns that mountain of money: any self decent mobster would have seen that there is something wrong there, that he is becoming to powerful in his madness. That guy that was dragged away simply had it coming. He should have just put a gun to the joker's head and fire. That would have boosted his respect back, saved his life, and also save a shit load of money from burning.

- the prison scene with the guy with a bomb in him. So easy to spot. I mean you just bring a crazy freak in the section and you bring in one of his man in a jail cell that starts complaining about having a really bad pain. It was obvious for me that he had a bomb in him but any of the ones around could have at least think about a diversion and inspected him earlier. I actually said to the one I was watching the film with: "this guy has a bomb in him!" afterwards he looked at me like "how did you knew?" ..."well it just seems something that the Joker would do"

- The scene about the cop left inside to "guard" the joker. That will never happen. The joker should have been chained as Hannibal Lecter at least. Also the cop coming close to him to teach him a lesson? yeah seriously...

- The scene right after where he asks for a phone. Wasn't that obvious that he was going to do something bad with that phone? Like call a remote bomb or something? Who were they thinking the Joker will call? His mom to pick him up from the police station? Not to mention the police station exploding and the joker being the only one still standing.

- The scene about Batman catching the Joker and saving him from death.Ok, Batman has to be good and try and save anyone...that's in his nature. But couldn't he miss for once? You know...stress and shit. The thought that after he saves this guy, if he ever gets loose again he will kill another 100 innocents and so on? And Batman does make mistakes, he isn't Robocop with perfect aiming and stuff, he did some mistakes in this movie also. Would have seemed a more fitting ending to see Batman fail on this one. Still I think they wanted to show off with that immovable object philosophy.

- And of course my favorite thing, the join the dark side with poor logical arguments theme that Hollywood seems to be running ever since Anakin transformed into Darth Vader. Join the dark side...we got free cookies...well I shouldn't but... ok what the hell. I mean there we have Harvey having a gun in his hand pointing at the head of the one directly responsible for killing his soon to be wife yet he flips a coin? Where did that came from? What's up with all the random killing / flipping the coins afterwards? What's up with all the rage aimed at Gordon's family? That's seriously against everything he stood for and you simply can't twist a character like that so fast.

And there are some more...anyways don't let minor things like this spoil it for you. Heath Ledger was really incredible in this role. He made the movie all alone. All others simply faded when he entered the scene. This is called acting and I really want to see the movie again just for having a chance to better study his character.

RIP Heath Ledger

Just kidding...."Why so serious?"

Dreams notebook

2008-07-08T03:50:00.000-07:00

I have really interesting ideas during dreams. Or I make up interesting stories. Problem is that when I wake up I forget most of them. So this morning while I was dreaming I thought "hey, why don't I take a notebook to write all this in it?" So I got out of the bed, took a notebook and wrote everything down. Only to discover later that everything was a dream and I didn't really wrote anything in the notebook.

Why? Oh why...

2008-06-02T14:44:00.000-07:00

The main action in most of the DnD games (or RPG/MMORPG) consists in you going inside caves and dungeons and killing everything that moves. The quest line that sends you there sounds like: "Our scouts noticed growing activity from the creatures residing in the caves near the hills to the far south. Go there and investigate." Of course when you read "investigate" you actually read "kill all". After you kill whatever inhabitants you might have there (most of the time odd looking humanoids) you loot them. Suppose you find a "leather wrapped journal"

- Hmm...why would a stupid creature like this keep a journal? Cleric, try and read it!
- Let me see if I know the language. Oh, it's written in Common. The old notes are fading, but let me read the most recent ones:

"Dear Journal,

I am sorry I left you alone for so long but life in the caves is dull, there is not much going on and I had to work a lot. We are making wooden shields and weapons for our clan's fighters so that they can better protect the cave... our home. Well at least we have an objective, we have something to work for.
But today is different, that's why I came back to write. Today is a GREAT day because I grew up. I am now 4 years old and I was given my first spear. Then all the clan's fighters took me outside. I was so afraid at first since I never got out of the cave...we need to stay in here in order to be safe from the outside dangers. Outside... there is a totally new word. All around is green, I saw the blue lake, I heard the birds singing... everything from the stories my brothers told me... everything is for good. Just as we were about to go back inside, my brothers showed me a rainbow. IT WAS GLORIOUS!!! There is so much to live for and I am so sad that we need to spend our whole lives hiding in these caves until we will be strong enough to claim a land as our own... I can only hope that the next generation will get to see our dream come true. To live... in open air.
I am sorry dear journal, one of my tears dropped on you and stained the page. I had to remove that page, you know me, I like everything do be in order. I will now draw a flower, one of those nice things I saw outside... for I will always have it in here if I never get to see it again."

- He he ...the tiny beast really knows how to draw. Eh? Isn't this a nice drawing Bard? I wonder if we could sell it for some gold. By the way, did he dropped any good loot?
- Uhm...guys... don't you feel a little awkward about this? I mean... why did we killed this tribe? Do we even know that they are evil or something? I feel kind of bad.
- Hold your horses Cleric, we are the good guys here remember? Look at our alignments, we are all good.
- Ok, let me read on. I am sure we will find some evil plots.

"Dear Journal,

Our tribe is worried today. Some scouts reported seeing 4 big beasts coming our way. They told us that they were so huge and had spikes and very sharp weapons. Like the one in the stories our grandfathers tell us at night. I pray to our God, Seeewka, Blessed is your name, please make them go away. Tribe mother is about to give birth tonight. I hope they don't find our caves or come to eat her."

- It seems that the "Boss" was actually a pregnant female. That's what made it larger. Man, I feel sick about what we had just done.
- It figures. We downed her so easy. Relax, they are VILE creatures. Read on.

"This might be the last time I write in here. The beasts attacked us. We closed and barricaded all doors but they are strong and they our downing all our defenses. From time to time we hear the screams of our slaughtered brothers as they come closer and closer. I am hiding here with our youngest and with the elders. It is a very good hidden cave, deep, real deep. I still have hope. Why would they kill us all? How much food do they need? Please Seewka! make it stop. The only thing that keeps me calm is you dear Journal... you were always with me. Oh look, the beautiful flower. Such a happy day it was..."
"NOOO they are coming this way. Why? Oh why..."

- He he, good job on that spot check Ranger. I must admit, well hidden room.

Multi-me

2008-05-27T06:12:00.001-07:00

Just noticed that it is very cool to play a multiplayer game against yourself. You win no matter what.

My demons

2008-05-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

My demons are the dark shadows that I feel working behind me, giving me power when I need it and taking it back when they are away. On my left leg there is the snake, crawling on me and attacking from behind me, left of my spine. On my right side, under my strong arm there is the black panther with her saber-teeth prepared. She's always growling. Extended from my left hand I have the sharp dark claw looking like some kind of bird claws, long and pointy. But my worst demon is standing on my shoulders covering my head with his shadowy body. He is teasing me all the time, he is offering the power of destruction. To destroy is very easy, almost tempting. It is so easy to kill, yet so hard to create. But what happens if you can't create? Are you to stand quietly like an observer to your own life?

I hate smokers

2008-04-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

I just hate smokers. Because they hate me also. Or because they are egoistical and don't realize that they really hurt some of the people around them. Although there are laws against smoking in public spaces or for making smoker areas I feel that it is just the reverse way. There are actually small areas for the non-smokers.
However I do like the new law that states that cigarette packages should have autopsy photos from people dead from lung cancer and so on on them so that people would be bothered by the images and stop smoking. My master-plan is to find a woman, make a son, raise him to 4 years old, let him wonder and see that image on a package, sue the state because my son will require psychical conciliation after seeing the horrible image and win a lot of money from the process. With the money earned I will hire an assassin to kill random smokers. Will be hard to find a non-smoker assassin though.
My unborn 4 year old son also hates smokers. He once asked me:
"Do you think that sticking my small 4 year old penis deep in the throat of a smoker would be considered rape? I just want him to feel how I feel when I take a breath near him. You know, not totally chocked, but really annoyed."
"Well son... it isn't rape if you kill him first. Now, don't forget to brush your teeth and say your prayer before going to bed." I'm such a good father.

It all ends now...

2008-04-20T15:58:00.000-07:00

I just love this phrase, it's used in almost all of the cheap action movies when the good guy finally faces the bad guy. The last dialog is the most ridiculous one.
"It all ends now. I'm gonna kill you. I'm going to kill you until you die. DIE motherfucker!! Oh...meeting you is such a pleasure, but I can assure you the pleasure is all mine. Until it all ends. Which is now. Let's end this. You know your family? All of them dead. Your fishes? All dead. Your cat? Chocked on the fishes. The doorman that said hello to you this morning? Dead. I don't know why. Oh, I remember. Because it all ends now. What? You firing at me bitch? Drop your gun, you ain't got the skills to touch me. Yeah drop that gun and beat the shit out of me in hand to hand combat..." and so on.
The way I would do it? I would build tension the whole movie, I would keep the viewer waiting for this last scene, I would make a super cool main character, a super bad villain that just deserves to die, I would get them together for the last scene... the main character walks toward the bad guy with a super cool walk, awesomeness fills the room, he is like some kind of Chuck Norris, Terminator and Master Yoda all in one...he looks straight to the bad guy (you can see he is furious by the lightnings in his eyes) and he says: "It all ends now!". So the screen goes black and there is a big "The End" on the screen, light turns on, bye bye everybody.

The brilliant detective

2008-04-17T16:39:00.000-07:00

I just hate the stories / movies where there is some smart detective that somehow has it all figured although he doesn't have many clues. You know, those movies when you say to yourself: "This is WAY to much, the only way this guy can have this figured out is if he read the script." So here is my police story:

Everyone at the scene crime knew him and respected him. Moving out of the way, the young policeman that welcomed him said:
- It's a fucked up crime scene sir. We got a stone statue looking exactly like his wife in his bed, we also got a tape recording device on the bed, then we got a stone statue looking like their dog and then we have the victim... stabbed into the chest, fallen to the ground, face down. We didn't touched anything, just took photos of the crime scene.
- Good...let's see...Ah, we have a nice and big book-raft here...full with books about Greek mythology. Stone statues... Medusa!! Ha! This guy was probably a no lifer professor that was so found of his work that he probably neglected his wife. So she got him drunk or drugged, placed a statue looking like herself in the bed, made a statue of their dog also, then she plays the tape in the cassette player which probably is a loud scream...so our guy wakes up in panic... sees his "petrified" wife and in his drunken mind he thinks he is some kind of modern time Medusa, then jumps out of the bed, sees the petrified dog also, goes mad and finds the conveniently placed knife on the way and being scared that he will kill everyone else that sees his face he commits suicide. Yup...case closed, I bet right now his wife is banging the sculptor that made the statues (probably lover and accomplice).
The detective moves closer to the victim and looks at him.
- You say you got photos with everything, right?
- Yes boss, all yours.
- Let's see this guy... Hey Johny...play that tape!
The detective leans over the body and turns him. The face... The eyes are blood red! He feels fear, a lot of fear, creeping up on him. He can't move, he wants to scream but his mouth doesn't respond. But he can hear the tape playing:
"... her soft skin was turning to stone. The pain must have been excruciating as I saw the look in her eyes. She was terrified by my face and she wanted to scream but she couldn't. Before I knew it she was fully turned to stone. I can't live with this curse on me. Some things are better left alone... [the dog is barking somewhere in the room] I can't see anyone else getting petrified... I will commit suicide, please don't look at me and just burn my body, I don't want anyone else to die like this..."

Hidden camera

2008-04-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

I just discovered a funny practical jokes site nakedfunny, what's funny about it is that most of the jokes include very nice girls showing big boobs, so you can have a laugh and masturbate at the same time. Just kidding, everyone knows you can't do that. (Try it.)

And now, here is my sadistic practical joke: let's presume a girl and her boyfriend walk on the street then the boyfriend gets a little behind and is hit very hard by a car and seems to be flying through the air - very serious accident. The girl starts screaming and someone comes to her:
"Ha ha ha you are on hidden camera".
The girl, still with tears in her eyes starts saying:
"Oh my god you had me there..." and relieved that this is just a joke even starts laughing. "Was Brian a part of this? Where is he?"
"Well, Brian is dead he was hit by a car. But YOU are on hidden camera!"

We have no emotions, no feelings. We love to feed on your feelings.

How does the symmetry end?

2008-04-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've been getting this question a lot lately. I was pretty sure I had the answer, actually I had 3 endings prepared when I posted the first part but afterwards I started to think about it even more, almost obsessed by it. I would write down the ending that I'm thinking about at this moment but I am afraid it would be lame and it would not fit the story.
To answer some of the comments: "Perhaps your original is doing the sick experiment." - this is actually one of the endings I had prepared, probably will not use this one. About your methods to break the symmetry - when you have someone that powerful to create perfect clones matching to the very last cell you can make sure that the fabrics and everything is perfectly symmetric also.
"If you(and your clone) are to have different souls you should start expressing yourselves in any way you can imagine, like singing, dancing, running in chaotic directions, fighting each other" - another ending goes this way. Might be the one that I choose. However, I can promise it will be unexpected.

The Sixth Sense

2008-04-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

I recently saw The Sixth Sense. If you haven't yet, go see this movie. Just before the ending I was like OMG! I seriously need to go to a shrink cause I was talking to myself, alone, in my room. "OMG ... dude OMG!!! Fucking cool". And I never referred to me as dude before.
The only other movie that ever got me close to that was Edmond the ending was sick, just sick.

Looking forward

2008-04-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

I wonder how did a man that beats his wife ended that special meeting with his wife, the romantic meeting just before they decided to get married. Was it like: "Looking forward to beating you?"

Perfect symmetry

2008-04-08T15:29:00.000-07:00

I wake up inside a circular room, 3 meters in radius, there is a white floor, a white wall around the room and a white ceiling. I am at 2 meters from the center of the room (I presume that the red circle painted on the floor is the center of the room - seems to be it). This is a perfectly symmetric room because there are no elements to break the symmetry except for me. The bad news is that on the other side of the room there is a perfect copy of me just waking up and looking around. Now I am looking at him and he is looking at me. Holy shit! He is doing exactly the same movements that I do like he is some kind of mirror image. He has a red dot painted on the wall behind him. Could this be something that breaks the symmetry? Looking behind me I see the same red dot. Impossible. My clone on the other side of the room is looking at his circle just as I do.
"What the hell is this?"
"What the hell is this?"
"Hey shut up, I'm talking now!"
"Hey shut up, I'm talking now!"
Great... this guy is not acting like me or repeating what I say. He seems to think like me because there is absolutely no delay between our similar actions. I bet he is thinking the exact same thoughts as I do now. If you think the same as I do clap once now. Ha ha, good, he is not clapping. Ah wait, I also didn't. Let me clap real real fast so there is no way he can copy that. *clap*. Fucking shit, he did it also. He really is having the exact same thoughts as I do.
"Seems we think exactly the same."
"Seems we think exactly the same."
"Well then it is probably a waste of time to speak..."
"Well then it is probably a waste of time to speak..."
... since we can't possibly say something that the other isn't thinking about at the same moment.
I move towards him and he moves towards me. I try to somehow break the symmetry by jumping fast to the left but he did the exact same thing. It doesn't matter how we move around the room, with each movement we remain in perfect symmetry.
"Mate hold on. Only I move now".
"Mate hold on. Only I move now".
We both hold. Then we attempt to move but hold in the last second. Then we both move. We are both looking for something in the room that would break the symmetry. Presuming that there would be a scratch on the wall near me I could say: only I move now because I saw the scratch. This will break the symmetry of the situation because if the other doesn't see the scratch near him he would not think about this. But there is no scratch on the wall, nothing that would break the symmetry of the room. We are both walking in circles near the walls looking carefully. Is this some kind of sick experiment to determine if there is any randomness in the way a person thinks? Because it seems it isn't. Me and my clone out there having the exact same inputs seem to think about the exact same things. I bet he is calling me his clone right now.
"You are the clone!"
"You are the clone!"
And we both laugh. We were both expecting this. Well is there any way to break this symmetry? Let's see if random physics events will succeed where reasoning fails. I start moving fast towards my clone and he is doing the exact same thing. The plan is that I hit him as hard as I can and try to dodge his hit. No doubt he will try the exact same thing but I find it hard to believe that our hits will be perfectly symmetric. If he raises his fist just one millimeter lower then mine or if somehow when our fist meet one of them slides under or something the damn symmetry would be broken. Great one... we both dodged the first attack and then managed to deliver a perfect fist to fist hit that almost broke our fists. I make one step back and sit down looking at my fist which still hurts as hell.
"Great idea, what now?"
"Great idea, what now?"
Well basically if we are exactly the same it would be expected to have the exact same strength. So if I try to drag him to my half of the room he will think about dragging me to his side of the room at the exact same time and we would have the exact same strength pulling in completely opposing directions. Actually this sounds quite fun. We both go to the middle again, we grab each other by the right arm and we start moving around in circle trying to pull each other. We both still find it incredible that even now when we are moving so fast and chaotic trying to break this symmetry just for one second, we still use our forces in perfect balance. We both trip somehow and end up falling in the exact same position (considering the distance between us and the center of the room). Even the clothes seem to have the exact same foldings from the fall.
Suddenly I see a hole in the center of the ceiling opening up. Something looking like a cylinder comes in through it and we can hear a voice.
"Hello down there. By now you probably realized the fun part of this experiment. Yes, you two think exactly the same, you act exactly the same, your bodies are exactly the same to the last cell. There is no way to break the symmetry. At least not by one of you receiving some extra input from the surrounding environment. Well, thank you for confirming once again that there is no chaotic energy...let's call it a soul... that would make you different. Seems that there is nothing mystical inside the human being... we are all predetermined in what we think and what we do by the inputs that we receive. You know what is even more amusing? You two had the exact same movements as all the other pairs of clones we tested, clones identical to you of course. Your reaction after hearing this is exactly the same. I am sorry but you served your purpose. Your life will be terminated soon. However, should you prove that you can somehow break the symmetry... thus proving that there is some randomness in the human being after all... you will live. This cylinder we inserted in your room will release a deadly gas in about 1 hour. Don't worry, you wont feel a thing. The only way to stop it is if one of you enters the circle in the center of the room while the other goes to the wall and places his hand on one of the two red dots. Well goodbye and good luck!"
Crazy demented son of a bitch! Killing human beings...clones or not just for the sake of finding "chaotic energies" inside them? He has no soul. I fucking hope I get out of this and get to "meet" this guy.
"Okay...I go to the center of the room and you ..."
"Okay...I go to the center of the room and you ..."
... was going to say you take the red dot on the wall. Holy shit ... this really is impossible? So I will think - "okay I go to the center of the room"...the other clone will think the same and go for the center. I will think - "I stop here, let him go to the center" he will do the same. We need to break the symmetry somehow. If I could somehow establish that I am clone X and he is clone Y then we could say X gets center and that's it.
But how ?!

Apocalypse x 3

2008-04-07T03:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning I had the most weird dream I ever had. And I had some pretty weird dreams before (one of them including the moon being broken into 2 halves during a sun eclipse one of them going away from earth and the other coming down to earth and everyone was just sitting and watching the sky all day long waiting to die and looking at the moon half that was growing larger and larger, scary but beautiful at the same time).
What was very weird about this dream I had is that it has dreams inside dreams which I never had before and also the thoughts that I have during the dream are very concrete and coherent, again, like I never had before. I will expose this dream exactly as I remember it.

I hear the phone alarm sound but since it is Saturday there is no point to wake up so early (I forgot to turn it off). So I wait for it to stop because I am to lazy to go to the desk and stop it and afterwards I go to sleep again - since I am already sleepy that is a very easy task.
I am in my room, looking on the window. Suddenly the light of day disappears and I'm realizing that there is probably an eclipse or something so I stay calm. However I start thinking and I find it very weird that there is an eclipse at 9:30 in the morning (I know the time because the alarm was set to 9:30) because I remember that the moon at this hour should be on the right as I look on the window and already down while the sun is on the left and rising. The eclipse passes and there is light again, following my thought I go watch the window and the moon is - as I thought - very far from the sun. So was the sun eclipsed by another planet? I was starting to get a little scared (of the unknown) when I suddenly wake up. I am in my bed, just how I was when the alarm clock woke me, laying with my face down. And I quickly realize why did I woke up. Like very fast explosions the light and the darkness alternated outside. There was complete light one moment and then complete darkness. During this I felt the earth moving violent, the bed under me was moving, but not horizontally like during an earthquake but vertically like I was falling and stooping and falling again. Also there was a very loud sound everywhere around me, or just in my head, I couldn't tell. Basically I was very scared and somehow I knew that this was it, everything ends now and it is obvious that there is nothing I can do about it, so I relaxed and put my head back on the pillow and waited. I was trying to get a feel of everything for the last time. I didn't get a view of my whole life or anything like that, I just had a precise feeling that this was it and I was trying to make the most out of the last moments. Soon I felt everything was falling down on me, I was getting smaller, like some kind of implosion inside me then nothing.
I wake up in my bead completely scared and I feel the adrenaline rushing through me. You know that feeling when you didn't noticed a car coming and you are just about to make a step, then you see the car just in the last second and you stop your movement like you freeze in one place? Or when you dodge something coming your way on the last moment? Or when something scares you unexpectedly? When that happens you get an adrenaline rush and you feel it in your blood, you feel your perception to be more acute, you think clearer for a few seconds, you don't feel any pain (presuming that you was hurt). So there I was, getting an adrenaline rush from a dream. I start thinking about how real all everything was and how real it felt to me and I find myself thinking what if it really was real and in some versions of the universe I was dead at this point? Maybe those universes ended. Then how come I find myself here well and alive? So I start thinking about Schrödinger's cat and Quantum immortality since it clearly appeared to me that I was in a Universe that gone terribly wrong and that there was no possible way I could have escaped what was happening. And yet again, suddenly those light and darkness explosions started all over and all hell broke lose around me and I remember thinking about how all our precious physics laws were broken during those moments, since there was no way to explain all this happening. I had more time to think and I maintained a more relaxed attitude towards this because I wasn't scared anymore, I already gone through this once, it was like living a deja vu. Again I get crushed on the bed and everything goes silent and again I woke up, this time for real (even though the last wake ups seemed also very real). This is were everything ends, no more apocalypses.
I was still sitting there thinking that I should wrote down all this, it seemed so huge. So I wondered how much time did pass after the clock alarm - the time was 9:50. So in 20 minutes I had experiences that felt like hours. The mind is a scary place. If this really was just in my mind...

I'm fucking Matt Damon

2008-04-04T17:04:00.000-07:00

Well not me. Seems Sarah Silverman is - link here - or just search on YouTube. By the way, who is Sarah Silverman?
So basically this is clear proof that the whole "touch-me-I-screwed-a-star" is not a male thing but it works both ways. Read the "Can you keep a secret?" post if you don't know what I am speaking about.
And speaking about working both ways here is Jimmy Kimmel's answer - link here - or just search YouTube for I'm fucking Ben Affleck.

Can you keep a secret?

2008-04-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

Cause I'm sure I can't. I was watching "Notting Hill" and there's this normal guy (Hugh Grant) that screws a hot Hollywood star (Julia Roberts) and afterwards acts very natural about it. I can't believe that's what a normal guy would do. In the very unlikely probability that I would EVER get to screw a hot Hollywood star (even porn star would do) I would first do her again just to make sure it was real then I would run gather all my friends (male friends of course) then we'll drink a beer and then I'll start with something like:
"So... guess who did I screw today? You have no idea..."
And so smart ass will go:
"Julia Roberts?"
"Now how the hell did you know? Next time I screw a star and I gather you guys for the buddy-after-screw-star-beer-talk you are not invited!"
Afterwards I would let them touch me. Then people from all across the room will come to touch the guy that screwed the star. Then I'll make a custom written shirt like "Wear this t-shirt ONLY if you screwed Julia Roberts". And I will wear it!!!
Now don't get me wrong. I am really not an asshole in real life. I consider myself quite a gentleman. I never speak with someone else about the girls that I meet. Not even with my brother. My private life is my private life, the girl's privacy is her privacy and I respect it. But when the girl is a star ....maaan... things change. I mean the fact that it is highly improbable to ever meet such a girl makes the huge difference. You will be looked upon as a god that cheated luck. A normal average guy meeting a star is something so huge that there should be some kind of special award, like the Oscars, let's call it the Ohh!star to reward the best star-fucks of the year.
Well anyways enough dreaming... it's not gonna happen. Like my grandfather used to say when I was young: "Don't ever screw a star. You'll burn your wee wee."

Yet again...

2008-04-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

It struck me that perhaps I am not addicted to wow or pc games. How did I get this idea? Well it's been a week since I haven't been playing anything and I don't really miss it, BUT I just can't seem to find something that will fill my time. Also I always said that if I wouldn't play that much I would find time to to homeworks/study/take care of my body & aspect and so on. Not true. Seems that I would do anything rather then doing all that (and I got tons of free time now), so it wasn't the games stooping me. Hell I'd rather watch the walls then studying for my exams (that's because I can't find anything interesting in what I study - at least the walls might have some nice patterns and most of the times are even more logical and structured then my courses). I'm just lazy as hell. Or how I prefer to call it... unstimulated. I blame the modern times for this (rather then blame myself of course).
However I decided I'll stay "clean" off games for another 2-3 months just for the masochistic fun of getting bored beyond reason. Plus I now have time to catch up with a lot of movies that I always wanted to see. Will speak about this in future posts.

Milestone

2008-04-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

I am approaching 1000 hits on the page. Check the small counter at the bottom of the page. I would like to thank Fili and my 2 other readers for this performance. Your countless refreshes on this page will not go unrewarded. So here it is: you got your name on the first page. (Except for those 2 other readers that I have no idea who they are)

Modern time Narcis

2008-04-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every man's life when you just ask yourself: "If I was born a woman would I (as I am now) fuck myself as a woman?". Or, on a modern note - would I fuck my female clone? So the first very important step in determining whether I would fuck myself or not is to determine if I would have big tits.
I don't know shit about DNA but I am presuming that it has the same big template structure for all the members of a specie. Why is that? Because otherwise the whole human genome project would have sucked (if 2 humans have completely different DNA "templates" a complete mapping can't be done). So the way I see the DNA it is like a huge array of values and each value in this array adjusts a certain aspect of a man's body. The array itself has the exact same look on either member of a specie, be it masculine or feminine but the values inside each cell of this huge array is what differ. So somewhere in this array there are some values saying how big your tits will get. So basically... I would have small tits since those values would be the same as they are now.
But wait! What about the big differences between sexes? For example there is a part of the DNA stating how big your tool (hammer, thing, precious, mr. steel, dick, get the drift? Probably should have just said "penis" in the first time) will be. And what do we know about most women? Well, hopefully, they don't come equipped. So this means 2 things: either those cells of the array are not used if you are a woman and you have some entries somewhere else or all the entries of the array are used but they are first decoded using a decoder that is somehow written in the array somewhere. I think I would have to chose the second because nature couldn't have possibly used such an unoptimized design as proposed in the first variant. So, my woman clone has all the chances of having 2 big dicks on the chest instead of tits. (decoder might overflow or read from a wrong address on a man DNA if it tries to read it as for a woman) By my standards that is pretty unfuckable, however she could make a fortune in adult movies considering how sick people are today.
So...this is what happens when a programmer starts thinking about the DNA.

Do I need glasses?

2008-03-31T17:29:00.000-07:00

Just noticed a funny thing. While in the dark, if I close (or cover) one eye and I focus on a light source (for example the little blue light that shows that my pc is turned on), that light source begins to grow and it covers a big area of my view and it eventually turns out into a huge circle that looks somehow like my retina (all other light sources int the room totally fade). And it's beautiful. I think this might hurt my eyes... but it is so relaxing and beautiful that I just can't stop doing it.

Sweet sweet wine time

2008-03-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

Memory is a bitch. You can drink all you want, your memory will still be there, on your shoulder whispering..."Hey bitch, you want to get rid of me? you can't." Drinking gets you low. I need to get very low from time to time. I don't know why, probably it reminds me of how good my life actually is. Good? Careless might be the word. There is nothing more perfect then drinking your brain out of order. You lose everything that you own, owning means caring about something, you have no more worries. But even when you get very low, even when you are reduced to that pure animal form everyone is hiding inside... your memory comes in and reminds you that you still own stuff, that you still have to worry about things, that you have a value that you need to uphold, not for you but for everybody that cares about you... for everybody that owns you. Fuck you all... I want to be free. And fuck you, face of death. I'm going to play my guitar, in the dark (even though I suck at it). And you won't scare me.

The birthday present

2008-03-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

At last I managed to find a nice gift, all by myself. For those who don't know me I am terrible when it comes to giving gifts.
The gift was for a guy on his birthday and I thought... hey let me make this a guy gift. What I bought him was the "Romantic evening perfect lover gift"; gave him these items one by one:
- condiments called "The secret of taste", after all the mood for love comes after a good meal.
- bottle of wine, called "The strength of the bull", to make him ...strong.
- bottle of concentrated juice, very very sweet, for the girl. Actually for the girl's body. Actually everyone watching me handling him the present started suspecting that I got something perverted prepared.
- a mustard tube ("Moments mustard" was the brand). For that special moment.
- a long white bread loaf looking like a flaccid dick... for that special hot-dog. Useless to say everyone laughed a lot.

But what was even more funny was the look on the vendor's face when I bought all these items and then I asked her:
"You sell condoms here also? I'm having a romantic evening tonight".

Yellow light

2008-03-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

The traffic is very slow. She was sitting in one place for about 10 minutes now and she was bored. She is stretching all around the car which is pretty small so she looks really funny. She noticed the guy from the next car in line smiling to her and now she feels embarrassed.
He was looking at her for the last 5 minutes. Very cute girl. How come he never met a girl like this? Well he doesn't really have time to go out. But wait a minute... theoretically he just met her. What should he do. Go out of the car in the middle of the traffic and knock in her window pane saying..."Hi there, I noticed you stretching"? Great pick-up line... Would look like a scene from a bad romantic comedy. Eh...she probably isn't single anyways, she looks too cute not to be engaged or something already.
The guy in the next car waves to her and pretends to stretch also with exaggerated moves. He's funny and she laughs at him. Then she starts to fool around also, pretending she isn't seeing him and looking very serious. The traffic light turns green and the cars start moving. The guy in the next car looks back to her one last time and he goes away fast. The traffic light changes to yellow and he passes in a hurry, while she stops because the light turned red. He is probably rushing home to his girlfriend... how come she is the only girl still single?
He notices the traffic light turn green. He looks in the mirror to see if the girl from behind is also moving and he passes the crossroad fast so that she may also have time to pass it. He didn't know what to do next but wouldn't it be funny if they stop and meet again at the next traffic light? Ah ...damn, she had to stop...

Addiction

2008-03-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

You know that you are addicted when only the idea of quiting is hurting you on the inside. After you quit (or try quiting again) you feel there is an emptiness inside you that can only be fit by your addiction. My addiction is World of Warcraft.

Dude where's my tram?

2008-03-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

The other day while coming back form work I noticed a long straight line of trams on hold, probably there was something wrong with the rails ahead or some crossing was blocked. The trams were empty, the doors were all open and all the engine drivers were gathered at the first tram, smoking while waiting for the situation to change so they could leave.
And then the idea hit me. Wouldn't it be funny if someone stole on of the trams from the middle? The fact that this would be impossible (since it has nowhere to go because there are trams ahead and behind) made me think about how funny it would be. Just imagine the driver returning to where his tram should be and going like... "DUDE, where the fuck is my tram ???". And then when he calls his superiors: "How the hell can you lose a tram? It's on a damn track!!"
This practical joke could be pulled trough; for example you hide the tram behind an exact picture of the empty spot while having the driver look at it from a little distance and a certain angle (with some of the other drivers as accomplices to the joke) or having it hold near a rail intersection and then moving it silently on the other rail behind another tram.
In the next episode - "Wonders of the atomic age - Dude, where's my city?"

Journey

2008-03-26T09:07:00.001-07:00

I shoot the ball through the hole in the sky. The hole is like a waterfall and the ball is floating on the streams of white air rushing down. The streams slowly fade and the ball stops in the middle of nowhere. There are a countless balls around, standing still. Looking inside all of the balls at the same time I can't decide whether I am inside the balls or outside. And again I see the hole in the sky.

love vs sex

2008-03-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

According to Google you got a bigger chance in finding "true love" then in finding "meaningless sex". True love returned 20.200.000 results while meaningless sex had only 72.000. The logic behind this is simple. The more people write about something it means the more people have that something. For example I wouldn't write about a Lamborghini car because I don't have that. So we got 280 men writing about true love for each man writing about meaningless sex. It seems you need to go through 280 stupid love affairs until you can find that true, unique, meaningless sex.

Yet again...

2008-03-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

... I open the door while looking back at my screen (was speaking with someone on messenger). When I turn around to exit the room - there it is. The face of death. Silently watching me from the darkness of the hall.
"Why do you keep creeping on me?"
"Because I like you"

Buttfucked part 2

2008-03-23T09:52:00.001-07:00

This is about the joy of living in Romania.
The other day I wake up at about 7-8 am and I also realize why: my apartment was acting as if it was an earthquake, my windows where vibrating and doing loud noises, it was pretty confusing for someone that just opened his eyes.
I look out the window and the mystery is unveiled. Some workers with drilling hammers where digging trough the cement and taking the curb out.
This is the favorite new sport in Bucharest, capital city of Romania. From time to time we take the curbs from one street and move them to another street five blocks away. Why? Because by doing so, some companies can make money - they are payed from the city founds to do this job and this particular task lets them make huge profits (by presenting the costs of the jobs to be much higher then it actually is, by reusing materials while asking money for their purchase and so on). The fun part is that nobody controls this or even cares about it. It's like the city funds are there to be stolen.
Well yeah, maybe the curbs need to be redone, but that should be done after all the other problems are taken care off. You just can't pass by the HUGE hole in the middle of the street and work only on the curbs.
Another funny thing is that they left a total hole where my parking lot used to be. Now I have to do impossible maneuvers in order to park my car.
Happy happy thoughts...

Watch this...

2008-03-20T10:55:00.001-07:00

...even if it seems boring at start. She explains every little detail because she wants everyone to clearly understand what she is talking about. The way I see it she is making perfect sense so.... this scares me. How much can we still push the limits?

Insert coin

2008-03-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

I am 6-7 years old. We are in a bar in a sea-side town. This bar has a very nice video game that I always want to play. I've been waiting to play this game for a year, last summer we went to the same sea-side town and I played on this machine for the first time. My father gave me some coins and I played them all and I am very close to finishing the game. But I lose. "You have 60 seconds to insert coin and continue", 59, 58, 57... I run to my father:
"Please please give me another coin fast."
"I gave you enough already".
"Please I really really want to finish this game."
"Shut it, we're leaving soon anyways."
"Father pleaseeeee, I won't ask you for anything else." It seemed like time stopped for me while I was waiting his answer. However, I knew that the countdown didn't, so I was very very impatient.
"Well ok...but you will have to change this, I don't have any coins"

With my heart full of joy I take the money from my father and I run to the cashier to get some coins. I count the coins that he is giving me fast, I hold one and give the rest to my father and I run back to the video game machine. "YES!!" I still had 20 seconds. I will finally get to finish this game. I am smiling, that happy and carefree smile that a child has. I insert the coin and... the timer doesn't stop. It seems that the machine didn't detected the coin I just inserted. I punch it hard so that the coin will fall and get detected. But although I can hear it falling inside the mechanism I still don't get new credit. "I could run to my father and take one of the coins I just changed. But I said I wouldn't ask for anything else. This is not FAIR". I feel the tears gathering. "If only I haven't made that wrong move at my last credit I could have finished the game". I don't know what to do. I'm looking at the screen: 10...9.... I look to my father's table and see the stack of new changed coins but I said I won't ask him for anything else. Then I start crying and I go away.

While walking away from the machine I hear another kid yelling: "Yeeey, I found a free credit on this machine..."

Wear Sunscreen

2008-03-19T05:28:00.000-07:00

Nice compilation of advices for a life time. The clip is also well done and in the end it makes you think about it.

Funny that the main advice was use sunscreen. We really should wear sunscreen. In a couple of years we won't be able to leave the house without it. Never mind...if it's hot I'll go hide under a tree. Wait... what tree? Skip my comments, just watch the clip.

(As a complete side-note, the first time I watched the clip I thought that the guy at 1:50 is actually drawing on the sand by peeing.)

Light show

2008-03-19T05:17:00.001-07:00

Watching this I was thinking how cool it would be if we could do this to a whole continent. Look at this image, there are actually a lot of lights up during the night. All it takes is a very very bored and rich man that would like to film that from outer space. Or maybe an expedition to the moon goes wrong and the only way to contact the astronauts would be to write the message on earth. That would be one huge "led-screen". Or we could play product commercials to let aliens know what they are dealing whit. Hi, we are earth. We are a consumer based society.

Why?

2008-03-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

I am walking down the street. Going to my lover. Sunny day. Lovely day. In low voice I sing: “It’s such a perfect day/I’m glad I spent it with you/Such a perfect day...”
A crack appears in front of me and I see the street ahead breaking and falling in pieces like a mirror that hit the ground. It’s like everything I see around is painted on a huge glass that’s broken. The pieces don’t exactly fall since there is no ground on which to fall. There are only broken pieces of what I defined until now as reality, floating. Behind them I can clearly see how Nothing looks like. It is black.
It seems that the pieces of my reality were “glued” to this black background and I realize that this is not a dream and the pieces will never get back to their place. At the same moment I see one of my hands getting away from my body in a triangle shaped piece. I turn and notice that behind me everything is still normal. I jump behind and I see my hand moving out of that triangle that was broken from me and being attached to my body as if nothing happened. Everything around me breaks faster. I also break in lots and lots of pieces that are thrown all over the place. I can see some of them getting away and breaking even more until they finally disappear. That’s the last thing I see.

Your dreams will come alive

2008-03-13T03:01:00.000-07:00

Since I started to think about dreams I remembered this classic. Makes me feel good for some reason.

You might hear people say that we live in a stupid commercial society and everything, music, films, tv commercials are lying to us and keep us happy by telling us that "you can be whatever you want to be", "your dreams will come alive", "you are special and unique", "if you believe in something strong enough it will happen for you", etc. Well if everyone is so god damn special and unique and can do whatever they set their mind to why do we have so many terminated individuals? Guys like me that work all day, spend 2 hours going to work and 2 hours getting back and when they get home they only have time to take a shower and go to sleep?

Was this their childhood dream?
"Hey Jimmy what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be an astronaut, how about you?"
"I want to work in an office, having a job that with a name that I can't even spell today, but I want to feel underestimated and frustrated for 40 years of boring daily work"

However all I wrote above is wrong. We only have terminated people because they lost their dreams somehow. Yes, "your dreams will come alive" but you need to "dream on" in order for this to happen. Never stop dreaming. The second you say "I'll make this compromise because I need the money", "I will go to this school because everyone who finishes it has a good payed, safe job" (even though you don't feel that's the path for you), in that instant you will lose your dreams and you are strong on your path to become a Terminated. Not everyone can keep dreaming on and making the choices that get them closer to their dreams. Make sure it is your dream that you are following and not the dreams of those around you or the collective dream of the modern society.

On another approach, psychological/medical studies will soon discover that someone with healthy dreams (at night) or that can dream with his eyes open (but not all day) is more creative and bright then usual because of the way his brain is getting stimulated. Thus confirming that those who dream actually have bigger chances to see those dreams alive. (On a side note, if you don't have any dreams what do you expect?)

Dreams...

2008-03-13T02:33:00.000-07:00

This idea does not belong to me but it's my kind of random thought so here it is:

Imagine that you are sleeping and that in your dream you meet a very very nice, smart, funny, sexy girl (and everything else that you might like - your "dream girl") and in your dream you have fun with her, you go places, you have a great time, you chat ... and just before you wake up she tells you: "Please don't wake up, I don't want to die!!!"

How would that make you feel when you wake up?

March 12, Spam Day

2008-03-12T08:26:00.000-07:00

I did nothing today at work except for watching funny stuff on youtube / other sites. Among the tons of spams that I received some of them were really good:

Loaded weapon - a naked gun alike parody of cop movies (targeted movie - Lethal weapon)

Mafia - Godfather parody.

Good ideas being rejected.

Food court musical.

Improvise everywhere - this guy had a brilliant idea, will get back to this in future posts.

Nipple song and the fatal Benny Lava.

What to do in an emergency?

Taking care of your baby.

Unnecessary Censorship.

Face of death

2008-03-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

Before I go to sleep I play some music and set the pc to close in 20-30 minutes. Then I turn the screen off and go to bed. Tonight the music stopped. I waited a little (maybe it was a low volume start) but nothing happened. So I decided to jump out of the bed and see what's wrong. So as I power the screen on...there it was. The face of death screamed at me. God damn face of death is stalking me.

winamp

2008-03-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

One of the things I really hate: did you noticed that you can't move the winamp window very close to the edge of the screen? Try it. You just can't move it very close to the edge (but not touching) without it automatically moving and touching the edge. I feel cheated out of my right to arrange my windows on screen as I want.

Naked Gun

2008-03-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

This is one of the best comedy movie that I ever seen. Check this montage.

Why can't they do comedies like this anymore? Are all the screenwriters out of ideas? Or maybe they make to much money by making average sex appealing "romantic" comedies that they don't even care to think about something new? It is a shame that everything is money orientated. Money instead of passion.

I bet those guys that made "Naked Gun" were thinking something like: "Let's make the funniest thing that we can think off, let's insert random non-related funny stuff all over the movie, I want to laugh my ass off when I will be watching this movie with my family."

Nowadays it's just "Let's cast X and Y and make a cameo of that Z super hot model. Oh, and we need Adam Sandler. Ok, now give me some lines, give me some funny faces, oh his girl is running away with a body-builder Chinese that lives in Mexico and when he tries to speak to her a chihuahua bytes his finger ...ha ha ha omg so funny let's cash in on this and get to the next movie."

Dance with me

2008-03-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

Very nice video on youtube.

Buttfucked

2008-03-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

I want to buy a house. So I went to the bank for a credit. Need I say more? Seems that just taking away all the money from the population isn't satisfactory anymore for bank managers. I mean sure they make your life a living hell by forcing you to pay tons of money each month, money that you need in order to pay for the overpriced house (which actually has such a huge price because of the banks and their credits - perfect vicious circle which is a win-win situation for the bank). But making your life hard is just not enough for them anymore. They need to strip you out of your dignity. So basically what they proposed to me was: "Son, we make a lot of money already. So we don't need your money that much. I am proposing you lower then usual credit interest if you agree to have butt sex with 2 total strangers each month. We would just like to watch."

Well actually the credit was like this: 70.000$ for which I would have to pay huge rates for about 30 years. After doing a little math it seems that the total sum of money that I would return to the bank would be 170.000$, that's 100.000$ profit for the bank. Money that are not worked for. Money that come from just having money. Money that will soon become uncovered, that don't have any real value.

Happy happy

2008-03-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

Always look up smiling and pretend that you DO have a future.

Brilliant !!!

2008-03-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

Did you ever wake up and thought about something absolutely brilliant? That kind of idea that comes once in a life time? But then you realize that you need to go to the toilet fast, and you hurry and go to the toilet, and on the way you say to yourself "damn, I really need to write this idea down, I don't want to forget this one". Then you get in front of the toilet and start pissing ..... ahhhh so good now, then you finish and flush, go wash your hands, dry up and ... FUCK I forgot what I was thinking about !!!

Misfile

2008-03-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

Guys read here, girls skip to next paragraph.

Here is a cute comic that I have been watching: Misfile. There is something mysterious about why I like this comic but I think the small boobs, the big boobs and the huge boobs might be the key to solve the mystery. Oh yes, and the anime style. And two girls kissing.

If you are a girl here!!!

Here is a cute comic that I have been watching: Seraph Inn. Jonas is so cute...ti hi hi ^^. Check Inverloch first, that volume is completed.

Online browser

2008-03-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

You know those online instant messengers (like meebo)? For those who don't have yahoo mess or MSN installed on a pc? Here comes a new revolutionary idea: the online browser. For those who don't have internet explorer/mozilla/opera/etc. You just need to go to a internet page (find it a cool name like browsie.com) and there you have it: a full operational online browser that you can use in order to go to internet pages.

Nothing

2008-03-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

The hardest moment in a child's life is when he grows up and realizes he isn't special. He can't play the piano, he sucks at guitar, his poems suck, he will never be a great actor, he won't be an astronaut, he doesn't have any bright and brilliant ideas. He is just another regular man who is going to be trapped by the daily routine of having a job and great dreams that he could never afford to pay for from his wage. And yet all his life he grew up having the feeling that all the doors will be open for him. So the only way out of this is to hug your lover and say that you need nothing more then love. If you can find it...

Wow

2008-03-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

World's biggest natural mirror.

Also, an amazing blog this guy has.

Porn of death

2008-03-07T07:35:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't it be funny if someone would think of inserting a scary face and noise into a porn movie? You know, when the action starts to get interesting and the "victim" is jerking off closer to the screen...KBAAAAMMM...horrible face of death appears instead of nice round tits and then a high pitch scream that freezes the victim maybe giving him a hearth attack also. That would teach him to jerk-off again.

Random thoughts

2008-03-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

I am at my grand parents house in the country side. I am squishing the grapes using that old machinery - rotating a handle that rotates two gears and the grapes go between them. I love the smell the fresh grapes release when the peas are broken, I love weather all sunny and bright. The body feels so alive, after years of standing in front of a pc this manual labor is godlike. My long hair is all dusty and sweaty but it doesn't bother me. It feels natural, it feels good. Above me, in the garret, I can clearly hear two kittens fighting. It makes me smile. They are rounding one another, then comes a surprise jump, then one of the kittens hits something made of metal and is probably hurt cause it backs up fast. The way kittens move made the programmer in me state that they are using a "kitty backtracking" in order to find their path. Then I hear the wheels screeching. Then I turn just in time to see the drifting car coming straight to me. The room where we keep the grape squasher is to small and I have no where to dodge the car. Then I die. Again.

Alive

2008-03-06T16:18:00.000-08:00

I recently discovered the song "Sleeping satellite" (Tasmin Archer). I am feeding on it as I write. It is just pure and beautiful, listening to it and looking at the vid from youtube gives me a tranquility feeling. It wakes up my imagination, makes me imagine places I would go to and things I should do instead of my daily unliving routine.

You tube link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=0M4vI_XMgu8

Terminated

2008-03-06T16:15:00.001-08:00

I am the terminated one. That's how they call me at work and it fits me quite well. You'll have the chance to see why. Funny thing about this nickname is the way I got it. I was using "Terminator" for quite a while as my gaming name (sounds bad-ass and I also liked the movie a lot) when someone yelled: "Oh look the terminated one joined the game". Everyone just called me Terminated since then.

Since then I started to consider the fact that this name actually suits me better. I am a clueless man, I seem to fail in understanding what life is about, I have very few friends, I don't know what I want and if I knew I would probably not go after it, I am not always coherent for normal and sane people even though I am known to be a very rational man. I could go on pessimistic like this a lot but I think you got the idea. I am a terminated man even though I feel like I would have the potential to do anything but I don't see why.

A day of my life: wake up, go to work, play some games after work or work some more, come home late, eat, internet browsing, play some more games, go to sleep, repeat. Based on the term "undead" that you probably know from all the movies/games I created a new term that would describe me: "Unliving". An undead would be a living spirit inside a dead body. The unliving is a dead spirit inside a living body. Looking around I feel I am not the only unliving living.

What will this blog be about? Everything that crosses my mind. The shocking random thoughts, the funny stuff I discover, the nice and beautiful things that make life more bearable.

Why do I bother to write this blog since I am a terminated one anyways? Why not? I know this is a lame excuse for an answer but I just don't have to justify it.