Can you keep a secret?

Cause I'm sure I can't. I was watching "Notting Hill" and there's this normal guy (Hugh Grant) that screws a hot Hollywood star (Julia Roberts) and afterwards acts very natural about it. I can't believe that's what a normal guy would do. In the very unlikely probability that I would EVER get to screw a hot Hollywood star (even porn star would do) I would first do her again just to make sure it was real then I would run gather all my friends (male friends of course) then we'll drink a beer and then I'll start with something like:
"So... guess who did I screw today? You have no idea..."
And so smart ass will go:
"Julia Roberts?"
"Now how the hell did you know? Next time I screw a star and I gather you guys for the buddy-after-screw-star-beer-talk you are not invited!"
Afterwards I would let them touch me. Then people from all across the room will come to touch the guy that screwed the star. Then I'll make a custom written shirt like "Wear this t-shirt ONLY if you screwed Julia Roberts". And I will wear it!!!
Now don't get me wrong. I am really not an asshole in real life. I consider myself quite a gentleman. I never speak with someone else about the girls that I meet. Not even with my brother. My private life is my private life, the girl's privacy is her privacy and I respect it. But when the girl is a star ....maaan... things change. I mean the fact that it is highly improbable to ever meet such a girl makes the huge difference. You will be looked upon as a god that cheated luck. A normal average guy meeting a star is something so huge that there should be some kind of special award, like the Oscars, let's call it the Ohh!star to reward the best star-fucks of the year.
Well anyways enough dreaming... it's not gonna happen. Like my grandfather used to say when I was young: "Don't ever screw a star. You'll burn your wee wee."